(667 quotes found)
“The well bred contradict other people. The wise contradict themselves.”
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'”
“That's like asking you to pick your favorite child... I do however, think Bird on a Wire was one of my finest works. Oscar caliber.”
“One of my favorite clothing patterns is camouflage. Because when you're in the woods it makes you blend in. But when you're not it does just the opposite. It's like "hey, there's an asshole."”
“Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas”
“You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.”
“Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.”
“An intellectual says a simple thing in a hard way. An artist says a hard thing in a simple way.”
“I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential.”
“There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.”
Bryant H. McGill
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