(4800 quotes found)
“Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words”
“I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.”
“Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of those pieces”
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
“It's only funny till someone gets hurt........then it's hilarious”
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
George F. Burns
“Me fail english? Thats unpossible.”
“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
“You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither”
“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else”
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