(4594 quotes found)
“I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.”
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”
“Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words”
“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
“Me fail english? Thats unpossible.”
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
George F. Burns
“You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither”
“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
“Tell me I'm clever, Tell me I'm kind, Tell me I'm talented, Tell me I'm cute, Tell me I'm sensitive, Graceful and wise, Tell me I'm perfect-- But tell me the truth.”
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