(4764 quotes found)
“It's only funny till someone gets hurt........then it's hilarious”
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”
“Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words”
“I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.”
“Me fail english? Thats unpossible.”
“You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither”
“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
George F. Burns
“Computers have enabled people to make more mistakes faster than almost any invention in history, with the possible exception of tequila and hand guns”
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