(4814 quotes found)
“It's only funny till someone gets hurt........then it's hilarious”
“Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words”
“Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of those pieces”
“You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither”
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”
“If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.”
“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
George F. Burns
“Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.”
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