(4644 quotes found)
“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.”
“An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.”
“Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.”
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'”
“It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"”
Winnie the Pooh
“Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.”
Dr. Laurence J. Peter
“Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself”
“I speak two languages, Body and English.”
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
“Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words”
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