(4727 quotes found)
“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
“I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.”
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
“Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of those pieces”
“It's only funny till someone gets hurt........then it's hilarious”
“Me fail english? Thats unpossible.”
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
George F. Burns
“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
“You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither”
“Tell me I'm clever, Tell me I'm kind, Tell me I'm talented, Tell me I'm cute, Tell me I'm sensitive, Graceful and wise, Tell me I'm perfect-- But tell me the truth.”
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