(4732 quotes found)
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
“It's only funny till someone gets hurt........then it's hilarious”
“I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.”
“Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of those pieces”
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”
“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
“Me fail english? Thats unpossible.”
“You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither”
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
George F. Burns
“Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.”
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