(4667 quotes found)
“I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.”
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
“Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words”
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”
“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
George F. Burns
“Me fail english? Thats unpossible.”
“You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither”
“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
“Love is a piano dropped from a fourth story window, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
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