(4757 quotes found)
“I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.”
“It's only funny till someone gets hurt........then it's hilarious”
“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
“Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words”
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
George F. Burns
“You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither”
“Me fail english? Thats unpossible.”
“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else”
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