(4618 quotes found)
“Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of those pieces”
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”
“I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.”
“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
“Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words”
“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
“You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither”
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
George F. Burns
“Me fail english? Thats unpossible.”
“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.”
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