(4752 quotes found)
“It's only funny till someone gets hurt........then it's hilarious”
“Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words”
“I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.”
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”
“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
“Me fail english? Thats unpossible.”
“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
“You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither”
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
George F. Burns
“Tell me I'm clever, Tell me I'm kind, Tell me I'm talented, Tell me I'm cute, Tell me I'm sensitive, Graceful and wise, Tell me I'm perfect-- But tell me the truth.”
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