(4732 quotes found)
“If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.”
“Computers have enabled people to make more mistakes faster than almost any invention in history, with the possible exception of tequila and hand guns”
“Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.”
“Tell me I'm clever, Tell me I'm kind, Tell me I'm talented, Tell me I'm cute, Tell me I'm sensitive, Graceful and wise, Tell me I'm perfect-- But tell me the truth.”
“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else”
“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.”
“I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.”
“This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.”
“Love is a piano dropped from a fourth story window, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.”
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