(4604 quotes found)
“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else”
“If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.”
“Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.”
“Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.”
“Love is a piano dropped from a fourth story window, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.”
“I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.”
“This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.”
“Tell me I'm clever, Tell me I'm kind, Tell me I'm talented, Tell me I'm cute, Tell me I'm sensitive, Graceful and wise, Tell me I'm perfect-- But tell me the truth.”
“I've never had a problem with drugs. I've had problems with the police.”
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