(4751 quotes found)
“Tell me I'm clever, Tell me I'm kind, Tell me I'm talented, Tell me I'm cute, Tell me I'm sensitive, Graceful and wise, Tell me I'm perfect-- But tell me the truth.”
“Computers have enabled people to make more mistakes faster than almost any invention in history, with the possible exception of tequila and hand guns”
“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.”
“If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.”
“Love is a piano dropped from a fourth story window, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.”
“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else”
“Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.”
“Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.”
“It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"”
Winnie the Pooh
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