(4805 quotes found)
“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
“Tell me I'm clever, Tell me I'm kind, Tell me I'm talented, Tell me I'm cute, Tell me I'm sensitive, Graceful and wise, Tell me I'm perfect-- But tell me the truth.”
“Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.”
“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else”
“I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.”
“This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.”
“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.”
“Computers have enabled people to make more mistakes faster than almost any invention in history, with the possible exception of tequila and hand guns”
“Love is a piano dropped from a fourth story window, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.”
Quotes Daddy offers a number of tools for developers and bloggers to integrate quotes into their site including customizable widgets, embeddable quotes and API.
Over 1,000,000 famous quotes and user quotes that you can save to your favorites, share with friends and add to your site, blog or social network.