(4708 quotes found)
“ Watching a Terebyte of movies in one month is an accomplishment in any country.... accept for Afghanistan”
Nathan Elmo Melo
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe.”
“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
“If you can't convince them, confuse them.”
Harry S Truman
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
“If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”
“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
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