(4814 quotes found)
“The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.”
Franklin P. Jones
“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.”
“You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”
“Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you did not know." Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"”
“The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time”
“Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year”
“You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.”
“I started out with nothing. I still have most of it.”
“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”
“One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.”
A. A. Milne
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