(4753 quotes found)
“Trips were always a blast; he was just a funny guy.”
“If ain't broke, let ME take a crack at it!”
“Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves.”
“I do the work of three men! Unfortunately, they often seem to be Larry, Moe and Curly.”
“Irony. The opposite of wrinkly.”
“NORMAL is just a setting on the dryer.”
“Resistance is not futile.
It's Voltage divided by Current.”
“Every time you call Tech Support, a butterfly dies.”
“You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.”
“The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.”
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