(4817 quotes found)
“Trips were always a blast; he was just a funny guy.”
“Santa: My wife treats me like a dog! Psychologist: Does she abuse, hit or starve you? Santa: No it's a worse! She wants me to be faithful.”
“Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves.”
“you are only as stupid as the person you are talking to thinks you are.”
“You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.”
“the people who admire your wisdom the most, are most likely people that are stupider than you.”
“All technology should be assumed guilty until proven innocent”
“If time is money... then Bill Gates is wide awake, everyday!”
“Woman are the root to all craziness and best friend fights”
“if life was like candy, you want yours sweet not bitter. I guess my doctor wanted me to cut down on sweets!”
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