(4800 quotes found)
“I get that all the time, ... People come up and say, 'Me and my wife think you're so funny.' They think I'm him. But that's OK.”
“Marriage is functional in which the woman must cook the food every day and the man has to eat it every day.”
“The secret of long marriage? ~ It's simple: You just have to find the right woman and old enough.”
“Do and then DIE!”
“Barking dogs seldom bite, but beware of those dogs that know this proverb.”
“If the knocking at the door is loud and long, it is not opportunity, it is your relatives.”
“There are a lot of books showing on how to live longer, but none on why.”
“Balls are to men what purses are to women.”
Sarah Jessica Parker
“With lack of experience in riding, I deem it nearly impossible to saddle a 'high horse' and pretend to be mighty. I'd be too worried about my punishment from the horse.”
“My four year old daughter told me that the chicken will cross the road to find a twig to build its nest.”
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