(4710 quotes found)
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
“Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of those pieces”
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”
“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
“I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.”
“You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither”
“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
“Me fail english? Thats unpossible.”
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
George F. Burns
“I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.”
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