(4593 quotes found)
“Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words”
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”
“I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.”
“It's only funny till someone gets hurt........then it's hilarious”
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
George F. Burns
“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
“You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither”
“Me fail english? Thats unpossible.”
“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.”
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