(4741 quotes found)
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”
“It's only funny till someone gets hurt........then it's hilarious”
“Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of those pieces”
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
George F. Burns
“You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither”
“Me fail english? Thats unpossible.”
“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.”
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