(4762 quotes found)
“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
“Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words”
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”
“It's only funny till someone gets hurt........then it's hilarious”
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
George F. Burns
“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
“Me fail english? Thats unpossible.”
“You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither”
“Love is a piano dropped from a fourth story window, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
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