(4613 quotes found)
“It's only funny till someone gets hurt........then it's hilarious”
“I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.”
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”
“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
“Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words”
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
George F. Burns
“You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither”
“Me fail english? Thats unpossible.”
“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.”
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