(4627 quotes found)
“It's only funny till someone gets hurt........then it's hilarious”
“I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.”
“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
“Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words”
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
George F. Burns
“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
“Me fail english? Thats unpossible.”
“You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither”
“This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.”
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