(4820 quotes found)
“I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.”
“You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither”
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
“It's only funny till someone gets hurt........then it's hilarious”
“Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of those pieces”
“Me fail english? Thats unpossible.”
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
George F. Burns
“Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.”
“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
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