(4653 quotes found)
“Computers have enabled people to make more mistakes faster than almost any invention in history, with the possible exception of tequila and hand guns”
“Tell me I'm clever, Tell me I'm kind, Tell me I'm talented, Tell me I'm cute, Tell me I'm sensitive, Graceful and wise, Tell me I'm perfect-- But tell me the truth.”
“Love is a piano dropped from a fourth story window, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.”
“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else”
“This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.”
“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.”
“Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.”
“I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.”
“I've never had a problem with drugs. I've had problems with the police.”
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