(4677 quotes found)
“Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.”
“Tell me I'm clever, Tell me I'm kind, Tell me I'm talented, Tell me I'm cute, Tell me I'm sensitive, Graceful and wise, Tell me I'm perfect-- But tell me the truth.”
“I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.”
“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.”
“This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.”
“If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.”
“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else”
“Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.”
“Love is a piano dropped from a fourth story window, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
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