(20 quotes found)
“Oh My Fudge Biscuits”
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
George F. Burns
“It's only funny till someone gets hurt........then it's hilarious”
“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
“When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.”
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
“If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”
“A woman without breasts is like a bed without pillows”
“If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.”
“I have always admired the Esquimaux (Eskimos). One fine day a delicious meal is cooked for dear old mother, and then she goes walking away over the ice, and doesn't come back.”
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