(1352 quotes found)
“When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.”
“There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.”
“There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.”
“Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.”
“It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously.”
“I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?'”
“Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.”
“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
George F. Burns
“Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.”
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