(1368 quotes found)
“Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself”
“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.”
“A sense of humor... is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.”
“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.”
“The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.”
Franklin P. Jones
“Good humor is the health of the soul, sadness its poison”
“You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.”
“When humor goes, there goes civilization.”
“The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.”
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