(1345 quotes found)
“When pearl harbor was attacked we nuked them. For 911 we got home land security”
“Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.”
“Plus, they have a good sense of humor.”
“I never have a problem with money until I run out of it.”
“I look forward to the invention of faster-than-light travel. What I'm not looking forward to is the long wait in the dark once I arrive at my destination.”
“If a problem can be solved, there is nothing to worry about. If it can't be solved, well you can always buy chocolate :)”
“God ribbed woman for our pleasure”
“Swine Flu.. Now Mother nature is sending us SPAM.”
“God doesn't pay me enough to live”
“When people say. " when pigs fly," say. " YAY, I win."
Most likely they will.say. " how."
you reply, "Swine Flu due, it was ALL over Tv."”
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