(1369 quotes found)
“When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.”
“Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things”
“If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.”
“There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.”
“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”
“It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously.”
“I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?'”
“Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.”
“Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.”
“Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.”
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