(75 quotes found)
“maybe humans are just the pet alligators that Gd flushed down the toilet”
“I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because the water is cold in there. And I'm like, how did my mother know that?”
“Well, I don't use the toilet much to pee in. I almost always pee in the yard or the garden, because I like to pee on my estate.”
“You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet”
“Like when I'm in the bathroom looking at my toilet paper, I'm like 'Wow! That's toilet paper?' I don't know if we appreciate how much we have.”
Peter Nivio Zarlenga
“Tonight the city is full of morgues, and all the toilets are overflowing. There's shopping malls coming out of the walls, as we walk out among the manure. That's why I pay no mind.”
“I have two brain cells left, and one of them is busy reminding me to buy toilet paper.”
“Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper.”
“I was toilet trained at gunpoint”
“My name is only an anagram of toilets.”
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